i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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