I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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