u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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