I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
