thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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