i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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