Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
