He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
