Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Are my feet made of real feet?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
