He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We are two peas in an std pod
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
