honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize