No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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