ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
