Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize