if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
