I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
