Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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