We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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