Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
