I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
