Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize