I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize