im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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