just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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