Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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