either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
