Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
