It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
