theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
