It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
