I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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