i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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