I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
