question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
