Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
