She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
