Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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