He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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