I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
