I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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