Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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