Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
this hospital has no fireball
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
