we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize