im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
