oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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