Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
