Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
my poor anus
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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