So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize