I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
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