I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
