so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
