You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
