how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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