I must be too annoying 4 u.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
