So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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