just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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