I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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