He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
