i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize